Sober self-image

1 Timothy 1:15
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.

How do I see myself?
People often put their pastors up on a pedestal. Pastor's are viewed as experts on many subjects, eloquent, patient, good husbands, loving fathers, willing servants, wise counselors and all-around great guys... and they should be. We ought to strive to be such. Yet the image and reputation can often skew self image. It can be tempting to believe that public opinion and ignore the reality within us. Like Paul, we are sinners.
Walking in the light does not eliminate the darkness within us but instead illuminates the darkness and reveals even the slightest shades of gray.
I may not steal but am I privately covetous?
I may not commit adultery but am I lustful?
I may not kill but do I harbor bitterness and hate?
I may not use profanity but to I secretly judge and label others in my mind?
I may not outright lie but do I ad a little yeast to my illustrations?
I may not worship idols but do I give my personal time to unworthy subjects?

I find that regular time in self examination and confession is necessary in order to stay humble and qualified for ministry. Without confession and a regular reminder that I am along with Paul, a wicked sinner, I disqualify myself for His service.

Father, search me. Amen.