Abundant giving in poverty

Mark 12:43-44
So He called His disciples to Himself and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood.”

I see two choices displayed here - to give abundantly in poverty or to give poverishly (I think I just invented a new word... but you get the idea) in abundance. While the offering of the rich was greater in sum, it was far less in sacrifice and acceptability to God. God does not measure our faithfulness as stewards by how much we give, but by how much we keep and hold back from Him. Furthermore, the measure of what we keep also reveals our faith in God as provider. How can I say that I trust Him for my livelihood if I keep so much to myself and hold back from my provider? I wonder now if it is possible to follow Christ faithfully without giving sacrificially and abundantly. Poor in giving, poor in faith. Rich in giving, rich in faith.

God - make me rich in faith that I may give richly. Give me a generous heart. May I be found faithful with little so that I may be blessed to give much. Bring me to the place of the widow so that I can trust You with my whole livelihood. Amen.

Belief & Prayer

Mark 11:23-24
For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. 24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

WARNING!!!
These are my raw frustrated thoughts on prayer after losing a very close friend.

I struggle so much when Jesus says this sort of thing. Is He speaking literally? Is He speaking to people like me? Is this bound to His time and context? Do I truly believe? Do I secretly or unknowingly doubt?
I could try to make this idea fit by suggesting that my prayers are answered, just not in the ways I expect. While this is true at times, Jesus said "those things which you ask," and "whatever things you ask." This sounds pretty specific, not general. Could it be that I am not praying according to God's will? If this is the case, is it true that withering fig trees and throwing mountains in to large bodies of water is really more (noble, merciful, loving, etc...) God's will than healing my friend's cancer? How can the prayers of hundreds or thousands be all in doubt or unbelief? How can I make sense of unanswered prayer in times like these?

In the end, these things I know:
God is Good,
God's plan is Good,
Death is not the end,
God's ways are beyond me,
No matter what mountain I face, God is always with me, revealing Himself to me,
He is my comfort and counsel,
God is Good.

Father, help my unbelief. Amen

A new perspective

Mark 10:24-27

And the disciples were astonished at His words. But Jesus answered again and said to them, “Children, how hard it is for those who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
26 And they were greatly astonished, saying among themselves, “Who then can be saved?”
27 But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.”

I've been wondering what it was about what Jesus said that amazed and astonished the disciples so much. This theology on materialism and wealth seems so logical and reasonable in our context. However in their first century Jewish mindset, wealth and blessing were tied to God's favor and reward. Conversely, those who suffer loss or poverty did so at the hand of a retributive God. The realities Jesus revealed here in this chapter are not what one would expect; the greatest is the servant (43), childlike faith (15), marriage is for life (9), and earthly blessing does not mean heavenly favor or reward (24). God's kingdom only makes sense when we turn our lives upside down and view them from His perspective.
So where is my perspective off? Where am i living my by context and culture rather than by His commands? Why am I not more shocked and amazed by His demands on my life? Am I really listening?

God - help me see things Your way. Where I don't, pull me through the eye of the needle and make me to fit in your kingdom. Amen.

Cost of following Jesus

Mark 8:34
"When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me."

What will it cost me to follow Jesus?... Everything.
What will it cost me to not follow Jesus?... Everything.
Either way, God will and does demand my all; in this lifetime or the life to come.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

I find it interesting that "follow me" comes last in this passage. We can't truly follow Jesus until we first deny our own desires, hungers and flesh. We may muster up a desire to follow him... but following requires sacrifice, without which our desire is unfruitful, ineffective, dead. Following means leaving behind what belongs to our old nature and embracing what is of His nature - the cross. I am not truly following Jesus unless my life is marked by selfless sacrifice. This idea is so contrary, even foreign to our cultural version of Christianity which promotes prosperity and happiness as the evidence of true faith and favor. Instead, true favor is found in the privilege to follow in the sacrificial path of Christ. True favor and blessed disciples are marked not by abundance and ease, but by trial - demonstrating the vary nature of Christ in sacrifice and suffering. What a small price to pay for the joy on knowing Christ, being united with His Spirit and participating in the divine nature of God for eternity!

Father - teach me to deny myself, to overcome my self-centered sense of entitlement and follow You. Take my life and lay Your cross upon me that I may reflect Your nature to my world. Make me to follow You. Amen.

From the heart...

Mark 7:21-23
"For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22 thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”

I think much of life is spent trying to keep these evils from getting out. We work pretty hard to maintain the appearance of purity and righteousness. Like the Pharisees, we feel good if we can just manage our reputations well and avoid being found out.
I wonder what kind of fullness I might experience if I focused more time and energy on getting these evils out?... even out in the open? Through confession and accountability these evils come into the light and no longer have any power over me. Imagine what the church would be like if we all practiced such humility, vulnerability and dedication to purifying our hearts!

God - help me to know my sin - the private sin I harbor in my heart. Let me know how to purify my heart. Cleanse me from pride, fear and laziness. Let me be true to the faith and Word that I profess. Amen.

Is He amazed by me or am I amazed by Him?

Mark 6:5-6
"Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching."


Lately I have been amazed and shocked by the humanity and limitations of Jesus; how He completely bound Himself to flesh for our sake. Here in His home town Jesus was unable to do many miracles because of their lack of faith; and He was amazed. I wonder if Jesus was more amazed by their lack of faith or by the consequences. Was He surprised by His inability to exercise His divine power? Did He attempt to heal more people and was "defeated" or did He just not even bother, knowing that there was not enough faith there to work with? Is He shocked or amazed at my lack of faith in the midst of all the blessings He has already given? Have I, like the people in Jesus' home town, become so familiar with Jesus that I don't expect the miraculous? Is He more amazed by me (my lack of faith) than I am of Him?

Jesus - amaze me. Open my eyes and deepen my faith. Drive out from me all sense of familiarity and replace it with wonder and awe. Make me more amazed by You than You are of me. Amen.

A Different Reality

Mark 5:36
""As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.”

In the face of the verified news that Jairus' daughter was dead, Jesus chose to believe a different reality. And I do believe it was His choice - a decision based in faith and hope rather than knowledge and evidence. His choice did not follow reality, reality followed His choice to believe in the power of God and His good will for those who believe. This means that, despite all the evidence, the reality that would follow was still unknown and uncertain; even to Jesus. It was only by faith in God and the knowledge of His good will that Jesus could proclaim to Jairus, "Don't be afraid, only believe." It was only by faith that He could continue to walk toward Jairus' home.
So where in my life have I chosen to believe a different reality; one based on evidence and perception rather than on the power and goodness of God? Am I making decisions based on earthly knowledge rather than heavenly wisdom? Are there areas of my life; finance, relationships, opportunities, etc... where I am motivated by fear rather than faith? I must chose a different reality despite fear, evidence and the laughter of the crowd (vs. 40). I must chose to believe in the power and goodness of God and believe Him for a better reality. And I must let that faith carry me into the "Jairus' house" of my life each day to see that reality and the Glory of God revealed.

Father - give me the faith and strength of heart to believe in your power and goodness and to continue to walk into my "Jairus' house" to see your Glory revealed. Amen.