Justification or Judgment

Numbers 24:1-2
"Now when Balaam saw that it pleased the LORD to bless Israel, he did not go as at other times, to seek to use sorcery, but he set his face toward the wilderness. 2 And Balaam raised his eyes, and saw Israel encamped according to their tribes; and the Spirit of God came upon him."

Numbers 31:7-8
"And they warred against the Midianites, just as the LORD commanded Moses, and they killed all the males. 8 They killed the kings of Midian with the rest of those who were killed—Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba, the five kings of Midian. Balaam the son of Beor they also killed with the sword."

I'm always challenged and surprised by the story of Balaam; reasoning (arguing really) with a donkey, dismissing the fact that it talked, trying to trick or outsmart God, word games, shifting "holy" (or unholy) ground, judgment and mercy, curses and blessings... it's all so unexpected and even tragic.
I could feel sorry for so many of the characters in this story. I could pity Balaam for trying to outsmart God. I could pity his blindness even after God opened his eyes and used him. I could pity Balak for being so thick-headed that he not only invites a curse upon himself and a blessing on Israel... but he does it three times!!! Perhaps the one deserving of the most pity is the donkey who did nothing wrong!... and ironically nobody would listen to.
I have so many questions about Balaam.
Was he ever really repentant and redeemed? Did God claim him for a moment, for his lifetime or not at all? Did Balaam claim God for just a moment, for his lifetime or not at all? Was he a believer who slipped back into his old way of life in Midian or was he never a believer at all? Was his death an accident, simply collateral damage? Was his death the divine judgment of God? Was he killed by Israel in revenge for his attempt to curse them? If so... how did Israel know the story and who Balaam was?
In the midst of all these stories, there are some truths that are displayed.
God can use anyone, anywhere for anything at any time... even a donkey!
There is a difference between God's Spirit resting upon someone and residing in someone.
God's choice to use or reveal himself to someone should not be confused with His eternal blessing.
God's blessing or favor at moments past (or in eternity) may not mean exemption from future judgments in this life. I may still pay for my sins before I get to heaven.

As for me - may I never get too comfortable or prideful in that God has chosen to use me in the past. No amount of blessing or favor or past obedience and use gives me the right to rest on my laurels, coast it out, return to my Midians or stop identifying with God's people and work. My life can be remembered as a tragic dichotomy of blessing and selfishness just as easily as Balaam's.

Father - keep me humble and obedient always. May my path shine like the sun and reveal Your glory. Amen.

Proverbs 4:18
But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.