compelled to preach

1 Corinthians 9:16
"For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!"

Is my calling this clear, this sure, this strong? Am I truly compelled to preach the gospel? Why do I do what I do? Is this a job - a paycheck? Is this just a fun job - to hang out with Christian kids and be a hero? Do I preach because it is easy for me? Why do I do what I do? Is it for the approval or praise of people? Do I minister for the rewarding nature of ministry? What drives me to preach and minister?
To be honest... I am not sure... it's different all the time. Some days it's my boss, others it's the routine. At times it is for praise and recognition. At my most spiritual moments I think it's for the kids. I truly love kids and love to care for them. It's out of this love for kids that I share the Gospel of Christ. But even at my most Spiritual moments I don't believe it is by compulsion or necessity. I wonder what my life and ministry would look like if I was truly compelled by and to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ? I wonder what it would look like if nothing else mattered?
Then again, maybe I have a different calling.

God - make my calling clear, make my motives pure, make my walk strong and make my reward be only You. Amen.